Was a smaller Russian troll farm with even darker lighting. It’s mission was to sew discontent among Americans by posting plot spoilers on social media. Poor English and its choice of plots to spoil made it less effective than its mother farm. Typical posts included “Anna herself throws under train” and “Orchard of cherry to axe falls.”
Inside this was a smaller Russian troll garden with only a flickering fluorescent lamp. Here negative yelp reviews of US restaurants were produced at all hours and targeted to swing states. “Shaker Heights Denny’s Grand Slam Breakfast truly fumbles the ball!” and “Denver Mile High Burger not even .5 kilos.”
Inside this was a smaller Russian troll plant box with a single hanging bulb whose power dimmed with every bitcoin transaction. A team of young bloggers had the sole mission of bringing the Rotten Tomatoes score of the 2016 movie Trolls down to below 50%. “For better film check out Ladislas Starevich’s The Cameraman’s Revenge. Ladislas Starevich’s bugs beats Disney’s lame Trolls any day. Czarist calendar or now.”
Inside this was a smaller Russian troll closet with grow lights. Here a select group sent out a phishing email with the subject line “Singer Rick Astley Endorses Trump, Condemns Killery.” Once a link within the e-mail was clicked the recipient’s passwords and other sensitive information was stolen while a video of the Russian singer Eduard Khil, also known as Mr. Trololo, appeared. This operation is believed to have only succeeded in duping one recipient: John Podesta.
Inside this was a smaller Russian troll seedling in a milk carton. The only light was from onion and turnip-scented candles and a box of wet matches. Its mission was to tweet out messages renouncing love.
Inside this was the smallest troll. It sat in utter darkness. Blocking out all light and sound it hoped to uncover pure reason. But even this was now suspect. Was truth even possible anymore? Either a shared set of facts or an objective individual reality? What was reason and what delusion?
It longed to be hugged by its grandmother. To be surrounded by ancestors it could admire unconditionally. To know with certainty its place in the overlapping orbits of the planets and in the ebbing tides of time. It now does data analytics for Aeroflot.